Geek: Our Own Definition

    The Human condition is about definition: Who are we? What do we like? Why do we do the same things over and over, and yet are glad to do it? What's your Phone number? Why is the sky blue? Where am I and why am I dressed like a ballerina mixed with a pirate? Sometimes, the merest inkling of who we are can lead to profound realizations in our own struggle for identification in this endeavor, changing our direction and purpose in life.

    Maybe I'll become proud of who I am, and continue on in my existence. Maybe I'll decide to shut myself off, and spend hours on the internet, espousing vitriolic verisimilitudes and have a penchant for furry porn. Or maybe I'll slather myself in peanut butter, go to an elementary school dressed as a fetish nurse, screaming the lyrics of Henry the Eighth by Herman's Hermits over and over while making lewd gestures at passers-by...

     I just thought that through. And I think I just made myself a little frightened by that notion. I honestly had no clue my mind could go there.

     In a classical sense, what is a Geek? Well, if you're going by the OLDEST standard, then it's someone who does disgusting or depraved acts for the general populace, almost always in a performance. The traditional "biting the heads off of chickens" stigma that is usually placed on someone who seems feral or unnatural. Is that what we are? A society of individuals too unrefined or ill-equipped to deal with modern sensibilities?

    Oh dear sweet Baby Jesus on a Hoagie roll, NO! In all honesty, the deciding factor for a modern hit, or societal evolutionary jumping point now rests in the hands of those once deemed "too unprepared for society". Many common factors of modern society are either created, or improved, by those who adhere to the formerly maligned category of peculiarity. Computers (possibly the biggest sector of modern culture since fire could allow the cavemen to see their stick figure porn on cave walls) have revolutionized every single section of modern life.

    Like the Internet (for porn).

    Or television (for fan fiction, aka self-flagrant fantasy porn)

    Or movies (see: television).

    Or music (see: My soul as it's been stabbed a million times by someone trying to capitalize on it for their own stupid, egotistical self-gratification).

    Or porn (for good writing).

    Another common stigma is that geeks are boring. That our predilection is for our particular subject of interest, and that we have no interest in the common social strata: i.e. girls, regular communication with the outside world, the sun, soap and water, diet and exercise, etc... Again, the fact that people are using the things that were once stigmatized for those "too peculiar or dislikable". Ask any single person who admits to being a geek, and they'll tell you that they've spent more than a little more time on their own personal image. I for one am definitely one who has had more than a few issues with his own image.


    Ever since I was a kid, I had weight problems. The general term anyone has ever used for me was that I was "BIG". In second grade, the rest of my class came up to my chest, and I was always the one to be used as an anchor in Tug of War, and as a blocker when I played football. Did I like being put in such positions? No, I never did. But reading at a 7th grade level, and being able to tell people not only what some great cartoon episodes were, but also that I liked reading the Tempest by Shakespeare, did not help my position in the slightest. In fact, there was an old article that was written about the Headstart/preschool program I was in at the time, that had a picture of me pulling every kid in the program in red Radio Flyer wagons.

    Something that surprises people to this day is that I'm a very active guy. When I graduated High School, I weighed 428 lbs. To this day, I still have problems with my weight. But even then, I loved being around people. Interaction is a definition of character, and not about personal interest. Character is about having problems and sucking it up, and getting out there. Personal interest is about finding what you like, and living your life for what you love.

    My weight should not be contributed to who I am: I love playing sports (with a background in wrestling and volleyball, with basketball as one of my favorite free time activities since high school); I love movies, which has lead to a severe passion to create several films; I love writing, because expression is more than a privilege, it's an indelible part of human nature; I love music, for it's singular purpose of emotion as experience; I love traveling; because there's no greater joy than seeing the oldest thing in the world with new eyes.

    Am I saying that I don't have issues? No, I'm not saying that at all. In fact, no matter what we do, we will always have them. Why? We can be vain, we can be desperate, but mostly we can be stupid. So yes. We will always have these issues. But as long as we can deal with them, and not let them interfere with what and who we love, then we will turn out better than we started. Consider it an upgrade. I can be eccentric. I can be an oddball. I'm not a flake, however. My father would say otherwise, and he's dead. So if I do, he'll rise from the dead and pop me one.

    Although maybe I should. Mwahahahaha... (cough cough). Damn it. I guess I can't be evil. Alright, I won't start the Zombie Apocalypse, you guys. I promise.

    I guess, in the end, that what my true purpose of this article is to say that it's stupid to categorize yourself or others by one static category. There are many genres for any one art form. Yes, I am a Geek. But like I tell others every day, when they ask if I'm a nerd or a Geek, I say that I'm "uncategorizable". I've always held myself to my own standards. Yes, it may be a little weird to say it, but damn it, I know who I am. To say that is something that most I have known tend to say when they're middle aged. It's only a matter of time until you figure out who you are. To define yourself as you see fit. To be your own definition is much more important than definition by others.

    So make your own way. If you mess up somewhere down the road, that's fine. If you find something you really, really like, more power to you. It's your life. Make yourself your own definition.